In Big Win For Protesters, Sea World Is Becoming The World Largest Seafood Restaurant

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In what animal rights groups such as PETA are lauding as a historic victory following Blackfish-related backlash, SeaWorld announced today it will shut its doors permanently to become the world’s largest seafood restaurant. “This is proof that we really can make a difference! We can contribute society!” said Harmony Phillips, a protester who is “still figuring things out” according to her parents.

When reach for comment on whether or not the shift to a seafood restaurant was at all problematic a millenial seemed to grow bored. “Oh my gourd, are we still talking about that?? That is like 3 internet stories ago.” the owner of a Kony 2012 shirt said. “I’m either for outlawing bigamy or making it mandatory. I haven’t finish this important Twitter thread from one of my outrage consultants yet so I’m not sure.”

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