Tiger Woods Arrested For DUI After Freaky Friday-type Body Swap With John Daly

The news that initially shook the golf world over the Memorial Day Weekend has been softened by a much more reasonable explanation,  following the discovery that the  PGA’s golden boy Tiger Woods and Hooter’s spokesman John Daly had swapped bodies. “I was the sports biggest star, beloved by the media and fans alike. I was an utter perfectionist; you think I’d throw that all away to have a bunch of Denny’s waitress pee on me?” said the real Tiger.

“The real Tiger, the one in John Daly’s body, has been trying to tell us about this since he won Insperity Invitational in early May.” a PGA official admitted. “We just assumed John was drunk as usual. Honestly, this wouldn’t be the first time Daly had attempted identity theft.”

“You play with the hand your dealt, and when someone or something turns you from a fat, perpetually sunburnt has-been to the peak athlete in your sport you don’t question.” The real Daly explained, between drags of his cigarette. “I went from banging the ugliest girls at the bar to banging Denny’s 6s. The lower mileage on the old booze Brita didn’t hurt either.” He added, pointing to what reporters assumed he thought was his liver before winking.

Scientists are baffled by what may have caused this body swap. “Maybe they accidentally switched balls during a lightning storm.” One idiot theorized.

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