A cautionary tale unfolded Monday when a family visited their grandmother for the first time in months, finding the elderly woman who lives alone had gnawed off her dead cats’ faces. Local grandparent experts were not as surprised as the general public seemed to be.
“Everyone likes to think their grandma actually loves them but to be frank, your grandma would eat you and your loved ones in a second if you stood between her and survival. They are natural predators.” warned one geriatric zoologists. “They didn’t make it through the Great Depression playing nice.”