Phillies Projected To Be The Worst Team In Baseball. In Other News The Sky Is Blue and Water Is Wet

Baseball Prospectus on Wednesday released its annual PECOTA projections, which always makes for an interesting read.

The sabermetric system developed by Nate Silver not at all surprisingly this year projects the Phillies to, at 69-93, finish with baseball’s worst record. It has the Twins winning 70 games and the Rockies and Royals – yes, the reigning American League champs – winning 72.

PECOTA projects the Dodgers, not Max Scherzer and the Nationals, to claim baseball’s best record, at 97-65. It pegs the Nats to win 91 games, the Mets to finish in second in the NL East with their first winning record since 2008 at 82-80 and the Marlins to go 81-81. It has the Braves finishing five wins better than the Phillies.

PECOTA doesn’t exactly go out on a limb here to project that the Phillies will struggle to score runs in 2015. It has them scoring 577, which would be their worst output (not counting strike-shortened seasons) since … wait for it … 1971 (558).

This news is just piling on at this point. The Philly sports scene is pretty bleak right now. The Eagles managed to miss the playoffs, It looks the Flyers will do the same, The Sixers won’t be favored again this year unless they play the Washington Generals, and now the Phillies are predicted to repeat as the worst team in the league. In short:

It’s not like this comes as a surprise but can we at least pretend like the garbage fire that is the Phillies don’t exist until we absolutely have to? Just bury our heads in the sand until the season starts, build up some irrational sense of hope, and then watch the first two months of competitive baseball before we throw in the towel.

So my message to Baseball Prospectus when it comes to Philadelphia sports:

Jerami Grant eats Jonas Jerebko lunch


I won’t sugarcoat it. The Sixers may be one of the all-time great teams at being bad at basketball. Truly brutal to watch. As a diehard fan and glutton for punishment I still watch most games but it hasn’t been easy. That’s why Sixers fan need to find the small things to keep from losing hope. Like this:

Unfortunately we also picked up the win. C’mon guys you’re not being paid to win. You’re supposed to go out there, put up some highlight plays and lose a close one. We need those ping-pong balls and the Knicks are right on our tanking tail at 9-37. We are so close. Together We Build (by losing)

Traffic In Philly? Thanks Obama


President Obama, speaking in Philadelphia Thursday night, will call for ending the across the board “sequestration” budget cuts that he believes has weakened the military and hampered needed domestic programs.

“As we make these investments in our future, the President will propose to end the across-the-board sequester cuts that threaten our economy and our military,” a White House official said in advance of the speech. “The president’s budget will fully reverse those cuts for domestic priorities, and match those investments dollar-for-dollar with the resources our troops need to keep America safe.”

The change — in which the president will call for breaking spending caps laid out by both parties earlier in his term — will be part of a new budget proposal due out Monday. The president, though, will have a steep climb to get what he wants, since Republicans control Congress. Many in the GOP also want to end the cuts, particularly to the military, but they would prefer to replace the automatic reductions with more targeted reductions in domestic spending in order to slim down the government. They have balked at Obama’s calls for more taxes.

The automatic cuts to both domestic and defense spending were put in place by both parties to resolve one of the many recent fiscal crises and have been in effect since 2013.

Obama’s announcement and speech in Philadelphia, much like his State of the Union speech last week, will also help frame the debate between the two parties as they eye the next presidential election, in 2016. Obama is scheduled to speak to House Democrats Thursday at the Society Hill Sheraton, where they have gathered for a policy retreat and strategy session on how to rebound from recent losses.

I couldn’t give less of a shit about politics. See below:

But traffic is one thing that really chaps my ass-Hot take I know. And that’s really all this visit means for the common man who likes or works in Philly. I don’t know anything  about policy and it’s long-term repercussions so it doesn’t effect me. Duh. But everybody hates traffic. In fact, traffic may be one of the few things Democrats and Republicans can really agree on. I don’t care if your a bleeding heart liberal pansy or a ultra-Christian conservative (read: racist homophobe), I know you loathe traffic. So Mr. President please stay in Washington with your fellow assblasters.

PS- Holding up traffic in the Mid-Atlantic-I see you picked up some habits from your secret bestie


PPS- Uncle Joe 2016

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Philly’s Prodigal Son Returns (To Make Another Unneccesary Rocky Movie)


FOR SYLVESTER STALLONE, you can go home again.

Stallone, back in town after a jaunt to the UK, on Tuesday stopped by the house in Holme

Circle where he lived as a teenager with his mom.

Stallone is in Philly filming the “Rocky” sequel “Creed,” starring Michael B. Jordan as Apollo Creed’s son, Adonis.

“We were just finishing dinner with my chicken half-consumed and the dishwasher open,” said Patty Burke, who lives in Stallone’s old haunt with her husband, John. The Burkes’ seven kids used that as a point of pride growing up in the house, and Frank Stallone made his own sojourn a couple of years ago.

The Burkes bought the house in 1971 from Stallone’s mother, Jacqueline, and stepfather, Anthony Filiti.

Stallone told Patty Burke that he would like to take a look around the place. He remarked, to Burke’s surprise, that it hadn’t changed much.

Burke was impressed with how low-key Stallone was.

“He just did it for a bit of nostalgia,” she said. “That was nice. There wasn’t a big to-do.”

Burke’s daughter asked if she had thought to get any memorabilia autographed, including their “Rocky” boxset or Stallone’s old speed bag that she still had in the garage. Alas, no.

“I’m lucky I could remember my name!” Burke said.

* Stallone didn’t just hit up the Burke house, he also took time for some hoagies, hitting up Primo’s (2703 E. Clearfield St.) for two Italians and a ham-and-cheese. Sly posed for pics with the excited staff, and I hear he entered like a regular.

Rocky’s back in town! It’s good to see that he didn’t forget where he came from, which was a legitimate concern given Sly’s mental state at this point. His brain is probably more battered than a NFL mistress at this point.

On to the movie. It seems like Sly is just going to stick with his big 3 (Rocky, Rambo, Expendables) for the rest of time, which I’m pretty okay with. No one needs to see another Stop or My Mom Will Shoot. I give this one at least a chance it might be halfway decent because (A) Rocky’s finally hanging up the gloves (2) Michael B. Jordan has been awesome from Wallace on the The Wire to Vince Howard to an impressive performance in Fruitville Station and (D) no matter what it can’t be worse than Rocky V. Regardless of how bad it is, it’ll be worth a random HBO/Netflix viewing even if it blows

PS- I’m aware Sly=/=Rocky but if you think Sly’s CT scan looks like anything other than a journeyman linebackers’ you’re a goddamn fool.